Nora writes a Fanfiction
by wlfmanjack
Summary: See first hand Nora's imagination as she writes about her own friends in various different types of fanfiction
1. 1 We're fictional characters?

In the room of team JNPR, there were only three students present, Jaune and Yang were both sitting together side by side on one of the beds facing in the direction of Nora who was down on her knees reaching deep underneath her bed unaware her panties were being exposed and in the direction of the two. Jaune tried to look away out of respect but felt his eyes drawn to the arousing sight. Yang quickly took noticed of this and began to tease him about it. "You enjoying the view there buddy?" She whispered giggling to herself.

Jaune blushed, he loudly whispered, "Uh, oh, no I'm not trying to I just-"

"Relaxed," she whispered back, "It's a lovely sight, bet living coed you get to see a lot of stuff."

"Yang, I would never-," Jaune was quickly interrupted by Nora's loud excitement as she cheered out, "Found it!"

The two turned their attention onto Nora as she handed them several pieces of paper stapled together.

"What is this," Yang questioned?

Nora replied, "It's my fan fiction of you guys."

Jaune took the story and read the title out loud, "The Blondes love with questionable morals. Is this some kind of shipping fic?"

"Sort of," Nora giggled.

Yang looked at her with a questionable look, "Aren't fan fictions suppose to be based on some sort of preexisting fiction, as in, not what happens in reality?"

Nora placed her hand on Yang's shoulder, "Oh sweetie, didn't anyone tell you that our reality IS, a fictional universe created by a small company that produces content over the internet and runs a side business that sells roosters with teeth?"

The two collectively responded with a simultaneous, "what?"

"I know, who knew roosters could even have teeth. Anyways I'm really proud of how this one turn out and I'd like to see you two act it out please."

Jaune begrudgingly responded, "Well I don't have anything better to do, so I guess I'm in."

Yang shrugged with a smile, "Eh, why not. It's usually fun to humor you."

"AWESOME!" she shouted. "Now Jaune you can play Yang and Yang, you can be Jaune."

Yang looked at Nora again confused, "Why don't we just play ourselves?"

"Uh, fine," Nora groaned, "But I get to be the narrator. Now I printed off three copies so we can all follow along perfectly." She handed a copy to Yang while keeping one for herself. She cleared her throat and proudly spoke, "The Blondes love with questionable morals, by Nora Valkyrie. One day the beautiful busty warrior Yang felt her womanhood tremble more than usual."

"Oh god," Yang uttered as she could barely contain her laughter. Jaune blushed again and wondered what he had gotten himself into.

"Yang, you don't say that yet!" Nora asserted.

"Alright I'm sorry."

"Now as I was saying," Nora continued as she enthusiastically conveyed each word with so much emotion, "she longed for her knight in shinning armor. The kindhearted handsome man known as Jaune Arc. Laying in bed, she stared at her only photo of him, aching for his touch." Nora paused for a moment and looked down at Yang once more, "hello, this is your line."

"Oh right," she replied, "Uhhh, Oh god Jaune. Why have you placed such a curse upon me, your sexiness has driven me crazy beyond belief. That's it, I can no longer hide my desires any more."

Nora was impressed at how well Yang was conveying her art. Jaune had become even redder, but on a small level he did enjoy the attention he was getting with the two beautiful ladies. Nora continued, "Yang leaped out of bed and ran across the hall. After knocking on the door she eagerly awaited his presence, but was taken back to an uncomfortable thought. What if someone else answer's the door, what if he's not even there, and if he's there what am I going to say to him. She quickly thought should I just leave, or should I pretend I'm here for another reason. But to her luck, Jaune had answered and Yang swore he was glowing as if the heaven gates had open."

Jaune was about to read his lines but found a discrepancy in them, "Uh Nora, I have a problem with this script."

"JAUNE, this is a beautiful scene and you just ruined it," Nora cried.

"I'm sorry but you spelled my name wrong."

"What?"

"Yeah my name is spelled J-A-U-N-E, you spelled it J-U-A-N-E."

"You ruin my beautiful flow for a spelling error."

"Well I skimmed through the story, and you spelled it wrong throughout the whole thing."

"I'm trying to create art here."

"It's distracting."

"IT'S IRRELEVANT."

"Jaune," Yang pleaded, "just go with it, I'm interested in seeing what happens next."

"Fine," Jaune grunted as he listlessly began. "Yang what brings-"

"With feeling," Nora growled.

Jaune took a breath and continued, "Yang? What brings you here?"

Nora smiled and read, "Yang was paralyzed with arousal, her legs shook, her eyes widen, her heart was racing, and finally she can no longer hold her urges anymore as she pounced onto her true love. As she tackled her lover to the ground they locked lips, she forced her tongue in his mouth passionately, releasing all her sexual frustrations."

Upon hearing this, both Jaune and Yang's faces were incredibly red. Jaune turn his head away from the two girls releasing a small amount of sweat as his face was redder than Pyrrha's hair. Yang had the biggest smile on her face trying hard to contain her laugh, "NORA," Yang whimpered, "is this really what you think of us?"

Jaune added with a croaking voice, "You do know Pyrrha and I are together right?"

"Guys, it's just a story," Nora assured, "Now let's continue. The two were embraced in a passionate dance of making out, but suddenly Jaune had awoken from Yang's allure. As he pushed away his busty friend he needed to get something off his chest."

Jaune took a deep breath as he endured the embarrassment some more to read his lines, "Wait, I can't, my heart still belongs to another."

Yang also took a deep breath, "Please don't tell me you still have feelings for that witch Weiss."

"I'm sorry, although I find you very attractive, I can't help the way I feel about her."

Nora narrated again, "the two sat up and looked into each others eyes in empathy, but Yang looked downward with a small amount of tears down her face."

Yang read aloud, "I don't understand how you can like that harlot so much, she's so horrible to you and every time I see her hurt you, it hurts me too."

"I'm sorry, but she's the woman I love." Jaune felt uncomfortable talking about Weiss in this manor as it reminded him too much of how his relationship with Pyrrha started. While he no longer felt the way he did around Weiss it was still always awkward when the two were in the same room.

Nora retook the floor, "Yang ran back to her room in tears, Jaune tried to chase after her."

"Yang wait," Jaune read.

"Jaune banged on her door hoping to apologize, but couldn't reach her. Yang cried her eyes out knowing her love was being enchanted by that horrible succubus of a woman, who didn't even want him. She knew there was only one solution," Both Jaune and Yang leaned in closer waiting to hear what happens next, only to be surprised when Nora changes her tone of voice as she drastically announces, "Act two scene one." The two collectively let out a sigh.

Yang let a small laugh, "You know Nora this isn't a bad story."

Jaune added, "Yeah I'll admit I was a bit skeptical, but now you got my attention."

Nora proudly stated, "Oh believe me it get's better, now since Weiss was unavailable for this I'll be playing as her, she doesn't have that many lines anyway."

The two looked at each other with bewilderment. Did she really ask Weiss to be part of this reading even after she wrote those mean things about her? Nora cleared her throat again, "Now chapter two, later that night Jaune was walking back to his room alone, he felt bad for what had happened and he wished he could see Weiss for the cold heartless bitch she is." Yang and Jaune shot each other dis-concerning looks again. "Jaune opens the door to his room to find… wait hold on I forgot to add a comma." She quickly took out a pink pen and made the correction. "Okay, so Jaune opens the door to his room to find Weiss tied to his bed."

Yang was puzzled, "Uhhh, Nora is this-."

"HUSH," she barked, "Her arms and legs were tied to the ends, her eyes were blindfolded to prevent sight, her mouth was gagged to prevent speech as she moaned loudly upon hearing the door open, Jaune immediately made his way to go free her, but was stopped when a firm grip tugged at his arm. On the corner of his eye he saw Yang and turned his attention onto her." Nora motioned to Jaune, "Jaune that's your cue."

Jaune looked at her in such dismay, "Nora I don't like where this story is going."

"No, no trust me," She pleaded, "It gets really good."

Jaune was still uneasy, but continued to read, "Fine, uh. Yang what's going on, why is Weiss tied up."

Yang was uneasy as well, but was also curious about the story, "I'm helping you move on, this blind obsession you have with someone who doesn't care about you is unhealthy."

Nora takes the floor, "Yang and Jaune walk towards Weiss. Yang removes the blindfold and gag and Weiss cries out, what the hell Yang I thought we were friends. Jaune get me away from this psycho. Yang punches Weiss in the face leaving a massive mark on her cheek… I said leaving a massive mark on her cheek."

Yang was still befuddled but played along, just not with the same acting enthusiasm, "SH-Shut up bitch, you've had this coming for a long time."

Jaune uncomfortably plays along as well, "Yang what are you doing, she's your team mate and your friend?"

"No, not anymore. I'm tired of her making everyone's lives miserable."

Nora takes over. "Yang reaches to the side and brings out a large sack of shotgun shells and began to force the rounds handful by handful down Weiss's throat, taking pleasure in watching her former friend choke as she continually stoves more and more."

"NORA, stop," Jaune shouted.

"No, no, no the line is Yang stop," Nora corrected, "But that was some good acting."

"No I actually mean you, you need to stop," Jaune asserted, "What is this, why are you writing such a horrific story."

"Well I mean, all the most popular fanfics have horrific blood, gore, and sex. They're the only ones on the internet that everyone goes crazy over, and everyone says don't read them, but everyone else reads them anyway to satisfy their sick curiosity."

Yang stood up and confronted her, "SO, that doesn't mean you can write that way about your friends."

"Guys, guys, guys you gotta trust me," Nora pleaded, "You see once Yang convinces Jaune to help her kill Weiss-"

"NORA," Jaune argued, "We wouldn't-"

"Hold on, once you guys both kill Weiss, than you two celebrate Jaune's freedom with a hot steamy sex scene on top of Weiss's corpse."

"What?" the two said in unison.

"Yeah and then there's a couple of chapters where you two are on the run and you have to kill more people-."

"Okay, just stop," Yang demanded, "I'm done listening to this."

"Me too," Jaune added. The two walked out the doorway, and made their way through the hall ignoring Nora's pleas as she followed them just outside the room.

"Guys, come back. The best part is in the end when Professor Ozpin sets the two of you on fire and as you two leave the world forever, you unite with one last passionate kiss."

"I do want now?" asked an anonymous voice from behind. Nora turned around to find Professor Ozpin himself.

"And where, have you been?" She demanded, "We've been waiting for you for almost an hour."


	2. 2 the ladies will love it

**So originally I was going to make this a one-shot series, but then I got inspiration of the perfect sequel. Now I can't promise a longer series to this, but I'm not dissuading that possibility, mostly because I always thought of this as a one-shot to just parody the messed up side of fan fiction. I got the idea for the first chapter after reading the ORIGINAL Dipper goes to Taco Bell and a couple of Creepy Pastas in general. So while I can't promise a third chapter any time soon or at all, I hope you guys can just enjoy this one. **

* * *

Waking up early on a Saturday morning, Professor Ozpin's favorite thing is to do, is to take his coffee and go on a small stroll through the park. Being a Saturday meant no school and he can see his students outside having fun, Glynda Goodwitch often took care of the vast majority of paperwork leaving Ozpin to tackle a very few that required his signature and he usually procrastinated those until Sundays. Giving him this day off, that is until he saw one of his students lying on a bench with the back of her hand covering her face. "Excuse me Miss Valkyrie," he proclaimed, "You know a lady with a skirt that short shouldn't be laying like that, right?"

Nora sat up, "Okay Professor."

"Something the matter?"

"Well, I wrote another fan fiction. One that's not as violent as my last one, but Jaune won't even entertain the idea of acting it out for me."

"Well can you blame him for being skeptical?" Ozpin asked, thinking back to the last fanfic she wrote. He did agree to read along side his students last Saturday, not realizing what kind of story she had made.

"It's not only that, I put my heart and soul into that one with multiple chapters and several characters, but you three were the only ones willing to show up."

"I take it Miss Xiao long, had no interest in your new story either."

"Actually she's not even in this one, the only characters are you, Jaune, and Cardin."

"Cardin?" He asked, remembering in about an hour he had to meet Mr. Winchester for his punishment.

"Yeah, at least last time I was able to convinced my two main characters to participate, but now I can't even get two people. So I just gave up."

Curious about what she had wrote about Mr. Winchester he inquired, "May I see your story?"

"Sure, but I don't see what good it'll do without the two main leads."

Nora reached from behind herself and brought out a smaller amount of paper held together with a staple. Ozpin was confused on where did she pull out the story considering her skirt did not have any pockets, it's almost as if she pulled it from thin air. That doesn't seem physically possible he thought, but decided to ignore it just to see the new story. He started reading from the middle to get a better idea of what it was. He smirked and giggled for a bit, "You know Miss Valkyrie, I might be able to help you with this."

* * *

Jaune was very unease to arriving in his personal dorm. He hasn't had a lot of interaction with the Headmaster and having him personally ask to meet Jaune in his dorm was troubling, a flurry of possibilities ran through his head. Not sure whether this to be bad or good he decided to stop his worrying and just head in with a positive attitude, Ozpin always seemed nice so what's the worst thing that can happen. That is until he saw him, Cardin Winchester, sitting on his bed staring daggers at Jaune.

"Nice of you to join us Mr. Arc," Ozpin commented.

Jaune looked to the other side of the room where he saw a gleeful Nora and Ozpin sipping his coffee.

"What's this about?" Jaune asked.

"Take a seat next to Mr. Winchester, and we'll tell you."

Jaune looked at his bully in fear, "Uh, I'd rather just-"

"Now Jaune, you can't possibly think he's going to try anything with me here."

"...Well, I guess not." Jaune cautiously sat on the same bed, Cardin reacted by letting out a small growl and moving an inch away from him. "So are you going to say why we're all here."

"We are here to read a story, written by Miss Valkyrie."

Jaune and Cardin both responded with a collective, "WHAT?"

Cardin stood up and angrily argued, "Look I already told that hyper active ginger, I didn't want anything to do with her stupid story."

Jaune added, "Yeah, and I didn't appreciate the last one she wrote with me in it."

Ozpin took another sip of his coffee, then responded, "Mr. Winchester, you are aware of your punishment today? That you are suppose to scrub all of Beacon academy's bathrooms from head to toe." Cardin let out another growl, while Jaune wondered what he could have done to deserve such a punishment. "So I'll make you a deal, spend an entire day cleaning toilets or spend less than an hour reading this story."

Cardin reluctantly agreed, "Fine," as he plopped his butt back on the bed.

Jaune looked at Ozpin, "Well what about me?"

"Well Mr. Arc," Ozpin answered, "I don't have any leverage on you, but consider this a personal favor for me and if you have a reasonable request in the future, consider it granted."

Jaune was curious as to why Ozpin wanted Nora's story to be acted out so badly, "Are there any gruesome death scenes in this fan fiction."

"Mr. Arc I have read every word, and can conclude there is nothing of that nature, and tell you what if at anytime you feel too uncomfortable to continue you may leave, our little activity will end, and I will still grant that favor."

Jaune was still hesitate, but liked the idea of the headmaster owing him a favor and there had to be a certain reason why this was taking place for Cardin's punishment, "Okay, I'm in."

"AWESOME," Nora cried out as she passed copies of the story to everyone. "Now you three are the only characters and again, I'm the narrator." Nora Cleared her throat ,"The hatred for one's true self, by Nora Valkyrie."

"You spelled my name wrong again."

"Jaune, hush. Now, it was a bright beautiful sunny day, with all but two Beacon academy students aloud to laugh and play and make memories. Those poor unfortunate souls who could not participate in the merriment were Jaune Arc and Cardin Winchester as the two boys were stuck in detention. The charming and handsome Professor Ozpin had this to say."

Before Ozpin could read his lines Cardin interjected, "Charming and handsome."

Ozpin smirked, "I added that part in myself." He cleared his throat and began reading, "Gentlemen you are both here, for breaking curfew last night. Though I can not personally judge your actions as that would make me hypocritical of my teenage years, I still can not condone this behavior, thus the two of you will have to remain in here and study so that you can expand your minds for oncoming world."

Jaune spoke, "You know Nora the way you wrote Professor Ozpin isn't too different than how he usually is."

Ozpin answered for Nora by stating, "I would like to think that is because I always present myself in a very clear and consistent matter." Ozpin took another sip of his coffee then continued reading, "Now gentlemen if you'll excuse me, I need to scare some people who are just trying to help me and then go fight monsters and robots from the future," with an over hammy acting voice, "Semblance Powers, ACTIVATE!"

Jaune and Cardin looked at Nora unamused as she continued with her narration, "The Professor flew out of the window leaving the two men alone. Twenty minutes has past and Jaune was quietly reading his book while Cardin was flinging paper footballs at the back of Jaune's head."

Jaune took a deep breath and began his lines, "Do you mind? Some of us would like to have a future after graduation."

Cardin begrudgingly started reading in a monotone voice, "Oh no, did I-"

Nora interrupted, "With feeling Cardin."

"What?"

"You have to emote Cardin, otherwise it's not fun."

Cardin directed his attention back at Ozpin, "Oz, Is she for real?

Ozpin looked back at him dead in the eyes, "Perhaps you'd like to dedicate two Saturdays, to scrubbing toilets."

"What, but that wasn't part of the deal."

"I am altering the deal, pray I do not alter it further."

Cardin was furious, but didn't have a choice as he attempted acting for the first time, "Oh nooo, did I hurt the little girl's feelings."

Nora smiled as she continued to narrate, "Jaune muttered something under his breath, which angered Cardin."

Cardin found this part easier to interpret since he was already angry, "What'd you say Arc."

"Nothing," Jaune read.

Nora elaborated, "This answer didn't satisfy him, as Cardin stood up and walked over to Jaune's desk."

Cardin picked up from his cue, "No Arc, if you got something to say, just say it, say it now."

Jaune saw his line and felt it hit a little too close to home, but it was something he wanted to ask the real Cardin for a while, "I said, why do you have to bully people? You make everyone's lives miserable, so why, what joy do you get by making people suffer."

Cardin cringed at the line, since he had heard that question every time he had to change schools, I mean why else would someone bully if not just to make themselves feel good. Maybe people should just stop being such pussies he thought.

Nora took over, "Cardin fell silent as he was reluctant to answer, but it was a question that had plague him for years." Nora waited a few seconds before barking, "Cardin!"

"Huh," he answered, "Oh right uh, Look I don't want to be a bad person, but my father well, he always had this idea of showing strength through power." Cardin stopped for a moment and realized there was some truth to that statement. "My brothers would always pick on me for being weak, and how could I not be weak, they were both teenagers and I was just a boy, yet my father always commended them for showing power over me by teasing me and taking or breaking my stuff." While not entirely true, his eldest brother did move out of the house while his other brother would tease him for some of the things he liked. He remembered being a child and owning a plush rabbit toy. It was his favorite thing in the world and always kept him safe while in the dark. His brother however ripped the ears off and charred up the body just enough to keep it from falling apart, but damaged it enough so it wasn't the same again. His father didn't care and told little Cardin it's just a stupid rabbit, so grow up. That moment really stung in his childhood.

Ozpin looked at Cardin in concern, "Are you alright Mr. Winchester."

"Uh, yeah I'm just, uh... slow reader," Cardin Lied then read, "but I think the one thing that hurts the most is that I've been lying to myself for years."

Nora took over, "Cardin turned around as Jaune looked at him with worrisome eyes. He never saw this side of Cardin and wanted to see more."

Jaune picked up on his cue, "Cardin you can talk to me like a human being, I'm not going to judge you."

Cardin took another deep breath and began to read again, "I just, I don't want to come to terms with a certain side of myself." Cardin was confused as to what that line could mean, he didn't like where this story was going.

"Cardin please," Jaune read, "I want to help you."

"The truth is, I'm, I'm... I'm what, NORA I'M NOT GAY." Cardin shouted.

"Oh come on Cardin it's just a story."

The bulky teen looked towards Ozpin again, "Is this your idea of a joke?"

Ozpin answered, "I just find it a fitting punishment since you were picking on that poor boy for his sexuality, now Mr. Winchester, we are almost halfway done. Would you prefer a little more embarrassment or spend the rest of the day doing your original punishment."

Cardin was in raged, but decided to endure it some more, "Fine, let's just get this over with."

Jaune, secretly loving this, fought back a laugh as he read his lines, "Oh wow, I'm so glad you opened up to me."

Cardin took another breath and calmed down, "Yeah, well it's not good. How am I suppose to tell my father. I'm a Winchester, and Winchesters are supposed to be tough and manly? It's just not fair... why'd I have be born with these impure thoughts?"

Nora described, "The bulky teen sat back down in the desk next to Jaune, crying into his arms. Jaune feeling bad for his ex-enemy walked next to him, took a knee, and began to rub the boy's back."

Jaune could sense the direction this story was going, but advanced anyway, "It's okay Cardin, look I can't promise your father will approve, but I know a cool group of friends who will except you, the way you are and perhaps be your new family and you know I'll be there for you too."

"Cardin looked up at the blonde hero and even with tears in his eyes, he could see the beauty that he had once tried to block out. It couldn't be helped, Cardin quickly planted his lips onto him, but pulled back soon after."

"Nora," Jaune groaned.

"Oh come on Jaune it's just a bit of fun. Trust me ladies go nuts for this kind of stuff."

To Ozpin's surprise he saw Cardin continuing to read without protest from that moment.

"I'm sorry Jaune," Cardin moaned, "I've had these feelings for a while, that I keep trying to push away, but now I don't think I can deny them anymore."

Jaune regrettably muttered, "No it's fine I just, well you're... oh god Nora I can't believe you're making me say this," after taking another breath, "You're really hot."

Nora having the biggest grinned described the scene, "Jaune and Cardin lingered into each other's eyes as they slowly pressed their lips together, Jaune wrapped his arms around his new lover while sliding onto his lap. He then proceeded to force his tongue down the bulky teen's throat and then-"

"Okay I think I'm done here."

"WHAT!? No, Jaune come on we were getting to the good stuff," Nora pleaded.

"Sorry, but this is a little too much for me to handle, anyways nice talking to you Professor Ozpin, but I'm out."

While Nora carried on pouting Ozpin simply smirked, "Very well Mr. Arc, a deals a deal. Mr. Winchester I suppose you can leave now as well."

Jaune walked towards the doorway when he heard a very faint voice cry out, "... I wanna keep reading with you..."

All eyes were on Cardin as he starred downward at his script silently. Jaune stammered, "You...wait, wha- why would you want that."

Cardin shook the pages with a tear falling down on them before crying out, "BECAUSE IT'S TRUE," everyone looked at him in shock. As he stood up he walked towards Jaune, "It's all true, I grew up in a very religious house and I was taught to hate homosexuality... I've been having fantasies about you Jaune and many other boys I've tormented over the years. I.. I... I don't want to hate anymore."

Jaune was astonished at what has become of his bully, "Wow, I uh, never knew, that must have been hard for you."

"Oh Jaune," he Cried out, "You're just so beautiful." As Cardin grabbed the blonde teen's shoulders, Jaune felt defensive and backed into a wall with the large one following him.

"Whoa now, what are you doing."

"Jaune, I can just," Cardin mumbled as he moved his face closer to Jaune's face, "I can just."

"Mr. Winchester," Ozpin asserted breaking Cardin out of his daze, "I don't believe Miss Nikos would like you doing that."

"Uh, your right professor," Cardin said moving away from his crush, "Sorry Jaune I got a little carried away."

"Perhaps we can have a discussion about your home life, Mr. Winchester. If you want I can provide you with an ear to let out your more... repressed side."

"That would be great."

"Good I'll meet you out in the hall," Ozpin replied as he walked out the door.

Cardin immediately threw a hug onto Nora, "Thank you so much, I... I feel like a new man," He turned to Jaune, "things are going to be a little awkward for us huh."

"Yeeeaaahhhh, pretty much," He answered.

"Well, I hope we can still be friends," Cardin responded sticking his hand out.

While shaking his hand Jaune added, "Yeah, I think I'd like that."

As soon as Cardin left Nora jumped with Joy, "OH MY GOSH, I didn't know Cardin was gay, this is AMAZING. I got to text all of team RWBY and CFVY, Man where is Ren when you need him."


	3. 3 Nothing wrong with a little Yuri

**So inspiration for chapter 3 came sooner than expected, plus I wanted to have more fun with gay Cardin.**

* * *

With the ship making it's final decent back to Beacon, Ren and Professor Port stepped out. The chubby mustache Professor turned to his student, "OH-HOO, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your help tracking down that vile beast, I knew with my skills of tracking mixed with your skills of stealth, it made us the perfect team to assist that village."

"Anytime Professor," Ren grinned, "I'm just glad to be back." As the two separated, Ren was surprised by a flash of a camera that came from the adorable Velvet.

"Hi there Ren, it's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back, you seem a lot more chipper than usual."

"Well that's because-"

"LIE REN!" a familiar voice cried out, however Ren cringed at this voice for he knew it belonged to the one and only Cardin Winchester. Last time he saw the big oaf, he made fun of him for having pink irises. Ren begrudgingly turned around, memories of that horrible person flooded back to him. Cardin was just so aggravating, so infuriating, so... PINK?

"I've been waiting for you, for so long," Cardin cried.

"Uh, what?" Ren question.

"Look I know I've been a jerk, but Nora helped me see another side of myself that I've been trying to push away and now I love myself again."

"...Nora helped you?"

"Indeed, now a little bunny told me how much you like moon cakes." Instinctively Ren turned to Velvet who had a big smile on her face. "Which I found the recipe and made a batch."

Ren looked down at the platter with caution, then looked back at Velvet, "Is this really happening?" Ren asked.

Velvet giggled, "I was skeptical at first too, but he really has changed. Go on try one."

Nervously Ren picked up the cake, bit into it, and found it to be... really good, "You... Made these?"

"I did," Cardin chirped handing the entire platter to Ren, "It feels good to do good things. Anyways, I got a lot more people to make amends with and hey it's great to see you again. Hey Velvet, we still on for shopping tomorrow."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," She rejoiced.

As Cardin skipped away Ren turned back to the bunny girl, "Seriously what happen, did Nora give him a lobotomy?"

The bunny giggled again and pointed at Jaune who was walking up, "Why don't you ask Cardin's new boyfriend."

Jaune, while patting his teammate on the back replied, "Haha very funny, come on let's go see Nora, I'll tell you about this past week."

* * *

The two men were walking down a large hallway, Ren still holding the tray of treats asked, "Wait aren't fan fictions supposed to be written about, well things that are actually fictional?"

"That's what we keep telling her, but she keeps insisting our reality isn't real and everything we do and say is predetermined by the REAL universe."

"That's deep man."

"Yeah and then she wrote a gay fanfic, or in her words Yaoi as she puts it, with me and Cardin. Which helped Cardin realized he actually WAS a closeted homosexual and now he's really nice to everyone."

"That explains his unusual behavior."

"And after word got out that Cardin changed because of a story, well everyone wanted to read it and now I don't think there's a single person here that can't recite it word for word."

The two were distracted by a crowd talking to Yang who was wearing sunglasses as she commented, "Yeah well, Nora asked me personally on how to write my character for the first fan fiction. It was surprisingly fun to help write something so demented."

"What's she talking about?" Ren asked.

"Yeah people got wind of Nora's first story which was a shipping fic of me and Yang. Which surprisingly got more popular than the gay fic. I guess she was right, all the most popular fan fictions have blood, gore, and sex."

An astonished Ren asked, "Wait, what?"

Before Jaune had time to respond Yang notice the two men, removed her glasses, and walked over to the blonde teen, "Aw, there's my boy toy," Yang grabbed Jaune's head, kissed the top of it, and hugged it tightly. "I've missed you so much," Yang whined, "Oh hey Ren, been a while."

After breaking free from the blonde girl's grasp and embarrassed he was that close to her boobs he asked, "Yeah uh, we were looking for Nora, do you know where see is?"

"Well look at that, I guess Pyrrha, Cardin, and myself just aren't enough for a stud like you, you got to get yourself a forth partner."

"That's not what I meant."

"Sure it wasn't buddy, but she's in the library. Her and Pyrrha are acting out her newest fanfic in front of a small audience. Anyways, I'll see you later my little petit ami." As the busty girl left she slowly rubbed her finger on his face, down his neck, and went on continuing her conversation with the crowd of people and having a couple of female students saying hi to the embarrassed Jaune as they passed by.

"Petit ami?" Ren asked.

"It means boyfriend in French, let's just go."

* * *

With the two men approaching they saw Pyrrha rushing out in a fright, Jaune immediately went to greet her, "Hey Pyrrha, is Nor-," the blonde was quickly silence as the red head latch onto him to plant a sloppy kiss. "WOW, that was uh, thanks."

"Sorry," Pyrrha muttered, "I really needed that after hearing what Nora wrote about me."

Jaune pinched his temple, "Oh no, what did she write?"

"All I can say is, I didn't know what Yuri was when she asked me to do this with her. I'm going back to the dorm right now, I just need to be alone."

The two men looked at each other and as Pyrrha walked off, they entered into the library to find Nora narrating her newest fanfic on a chair to a small group of guys sitting on the floor.

Jaune turns to Ren, "She knows when girls wear skirts they're suppose to cross their legs right, so no one can see their... unmentionables."

"I've tried telling her multiple times," Ren answered, "I honestly think she just doesn't care, not even if she's going commando."

"Wait, what?"

Listening in on the story Nora described, "After which the ginger girl spread the whipped cream all over the Spartan lady's glorious bre-... REN!" She called out running to her best friend, "Oh my gosh, I thought you weren't coming here until tomorrow."

"The beast turned out to be easier to track down than we had been lead to believe, what is this?"

"Well ever since the popularity of my last two fanfics I naturally had to write another one."

"Okay."

"And my new friend Mercury over there," Nora pointed to him in the small crowd.

Mercury gave a head nod as he went, "Sup."

"He noted I had a boy on girl ship fic, a boy on boy ship fic, but not a girl on girl ship fic."

"So that's what Yuri is," Jaune commented.

"Yeah, AND while trying to find inspiration, Pyrrha said it was unfair that I would write about other people in these awkward situations, but not myself, and that she didn't appreciate me shipping her boyfriend with everyone."

"Oh no," Ren groaned.

"Yeah, so that's how we came to the Nora Pyrrha ship fic theatre, admission is free."

"Nora," Jaune pleaded, "Don't you think something is wrong in that situation."

"Yeah there is, she totally walked out on our audience. I mean how rude can you get, luckily they don't mind me acting and describing the whole story."

Mercury stood up and proclaimed, "NO, we do not."

After Ren took his attention away from the gray haired pervert he pleaded with his childhood friend, "Okay but, did you have to write in so much sex though?"

"Uh, yeah I did," Nora explained, "who ever heard of Yuri without any juicy fan service? Guys love it, and Coco apparently. I didn't even know she was into girls."

"I go both ways," Coco added.

Ren pleaded again, "You got to understand, Pyrrha really doesn't like being in the spotlight."

"Are you trying to censor my art?" Nora grunted.

"YEAH, DON'T CENSOR HER ART," Mercury shouted.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP," Jaune barked, "WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A TEAM MEETING."

Ren turned his attention back to Nora, "Look, it's one thing to write about Yang, who loves being in the spotlight, but Pyrrha well... Maybe just this once you compromise SOME, artistic integrity."

"...Oh Ren," Nora chirped, "When you're right, you're right. Okay, I'll go make some changes." As she left the room, the small audience let out a collective groan.

Jaune argued, "OH, go on the internet if you want to see that kind of smut."

* * *

The next day, both Nora and Pyrrha with mostly the same audience had met in the library again. With The Spartan woman nervous, she asked, "Nora, this story doesn't have any kind of lewd writing in it right?"

"Not to worry my friend, I've changed out all the lewd things to make this story more appropriate for you." The room let out another wave of groans as all but one left while complaining. The two actresses looked down at Coco who chose to stay.

"Aren't you going to leave too?" Pyrrha questioned.

Coco shrugged, "nah I'm still interested." That and being in the front row and wearing sunglasses gave her the perfect opportunity to inconspicuously stare at Nora's panties.

Nora jumped and asked, "OOOO, do want to be the narrator?"

"Sure, why not."

"AWESOME," Nora shouted as she passed her script to Coco and shared the remaining one with Pyrrha.

Coco cleared her throat, "Nora and Pyrrha's happy fun time, by Nora Valkyrie."

Pyrrha looked at her friend in disbelief, "I see you haven't change the title."

She replied, "Well yeah, I still thought it fit."

Coco continued her narration, "In the room of team Juniper, the two lovely ladies, Nora and Pyrrha, were simply enjoying a little girl time. Nora couldn't keep her eyes off her friend, her body was the kind of body you just want to... make cupcakes with?" She said in confusion.

Nora took over, "Pyrrha I hope you don't mind, but you're looking extra beautiful today."

"Oh," Pyrrha read, "It's interesting you say that, cause I always thought you were the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Yeah but Pyrrha, ever since I've meet you, there's been a burning desire in me every time I see you. Especially seeing how peaceful you look while sleeping."

"And what might that be?"

"My body aches to make cupcakes with your body."

Although Pyrrha knew the story wasn't that much different and could easily been deciphered, it was clear her friend was at least trying, she smiled and continued, "Oh my, I've never made cupcakes with another girl before. I wouldn't even know how that would work."

"Oh believe me Pyrrha, I've been making cupcakes with myself for so long, doing it with another woman can't be that hard. Lets just get out the frosting, whipped cream, and see what happens."


	4. 4 Nora writes a creepy pasta

**I was originally planning on submitting this on Halloween, but then again I just said fuck it.**

* * *

Deep inside the dark creepy forest the injured Yang struggled to get away from her assailant. She limped desperately holding her shoulder tightly to contain her blood and hobbled on one foot because her left ankle was broken. Although it was futile as the blonde warrior tripped and while struggling to get back up she froze in fear when she heard the cackling of the dreaded Clown Weiss. As she turn around she had full view of the demented killer. Her hair was pitch black, her dress had a pink and black color scheme, she wielded a bloody machete, she had the blood of her victims smeared on her mouth to form a massive red smile, and she had some sort of black makeup smeared across her eyes like a common raccoon.

"Oh Yang," The clown giggled, "Why are you running? I thought you liked puns?"

"Get away from me you psycho," Yang cried crawling backwards keeping an eye on her former friend.

"Oh, but Yang. Didn't you know, the best kind of punch line *laughs* IS THE ONE YOU DON'T SEE COMING!"

* * *

Cut to the campsite right outside beacon academy with all of Team JNPR and RWBY as Nora was describing her newest story. "And then, Clown Weiss ripped Yang's skull out of her body and beat her to death with it." The entire site of campers stared at her dumbfounded with Jaune speaking up.

"That doesn't seem physically possible."

"Well yeah, but all the most famous creepy pasta killers have unrealistic scenes that go against what's medically possible."

Yang nudges to Weiss and adds, "Well I guess that makes us technical, even right? I mean I killed you in one story, you killed me in this."

Weiss starred down at the flames, took a deep breath, and said, "no." She then stood up and walked towards the ginger, "Nora, what is wrong with you?"

"... I don't know what you mean," She answered.

"Clown Weiss?! Are you really that stupid or are you trying to get under my skin?"

Nora barked back, "HEY, you told me you didn't like being viciously murdered in my first story."

The rich girl screamed, "SO YOU TOOK THAT TO MEAN I SHOULD BE A SERIAL KILLER?"

Blake stood up to try and calm the situation, "Hey guys, why don't we do... anything else?"

"NO", Weiss shouted, "This is happening." As the rich girl began to calm down she muttered, "Look, I don't think we can be friends anymore."

Nora scoffed and argued, "WHAT, because of a story?"

"I've put up with your antics for this long, just to be polite and on some level I found them charming, but most of the things you like to do just disgust me. You play with bugs, you make a mess of everything, you're constantly immature in the most inappropriate moments, and now you're writing a horror story about me killing our friends. GOD YOU'RE SUCH A, A... A FREAK!"

Everyone fell extra silent as Nora's eyes started to water up, but then her face became red and with an expression of anger she snarled, "Yeah well, who'd want to be friends with an ice queen like you anyway?" She turned around and walked back to the Beacon dorms.

Weiss ignored the petty insult since it's not the first time she or her sister heard it. As she walked towards her tent to grab her purse, she announced, "I'm going back to the dorms."

Blake commented, "Weiss, that really wasn't cool."

"Whatever, she'll get over it," Weiss scoffed as she left the campsite.

Everyone was silent until the two ladies were out of sight with Jaune awkwardly stating, "Well that was uh, yeah that was something. I was going to sing my camp song, but I think it might be time to turn in."

With multiple others agreeing and heading into their tents Ruby asked Ren, "Do you think she's going to be okay?"

After releasing a large sigh he answered, "Yes... but I got to leave too. This is the part where I get involved." As Ren stood up Ruby called out again.

"Are you going to talk to Nora?"

"Nope."

* * *

While Weiss sat alone on her bed reading she heard a faint knock, cringing at the idea of that hyper active weirdo was at the door she begrudgingly replied, "It's open." Her expression changed to see Ren walk in, "Oh, it's you."

Ren walked in and began staring at the bunk beds as he commented, "I bet these give you a lot of extra room for some activities, Nora and I tried to convince Jaune and Pyrrha of this shortly after seeing your guy's room, but they were both against it. Afraid it might crush someone in their sleep."

Weiss gave him the deadpan stare, "... Ren, I know you didn't come here to talk about bunk beds. So why don't you just get your stupid lecture over with."

Ren took a deep breath and sat on the bed across from her, "Is it really that obvious?"

"Look I'm sorry I hurt the feelings of your, not girlfriend."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, you guys are together, but not together, together I get it, but I meant what I said. I know she means well, but she's just so infuriating and that horrific story was just too much for me to put on a fake smile."

"I can't say I blame you."

"Why are you even friends with her anyway? I mean I know opposites attract, but seriously what do you guys do when neither of you has anything in common."

"Well... that kind of goes back to our childhood. Which is why I'm here. I'm not upset with your reaction, it's just that word you used, has a lot of negative connotations."

"What, freak?" She asked.

"Yes, it's a word I stress Jaune and Pyrrha to never say in front of her."

"Okay, I know it's a mean thing to say, but why that word in particular?"

Ren took a deep breath, "Nora grow up in the same orphanage I did, however we weren't friends at first. I wasn't even interested in making friends, all I did back then was live and breath martial arts. I studied it, practiced it, and exercised everyday. Even got into meditating when I was seven."

"You did all that when you were seven?"

"Yup, while all the other kids played their games, had fun, and build friendships. I mostly kept to myself, making friends just seemed pointless for my training. Nora was the exact opposite, although the problem was even though she was interested in getting dirty, playing with bugs, and enjoying the outdoors none of the boys wanted to play with her because she was girl and all the girls thought she was weird and annoying. I remember her bringing a spider to the girls to try and show them not all spiders are dangerous, and of course it was meet with disgust. They all called her a... well a freak for not liking the things a girl was suppose to like, but honestly I think she just likes to do certain things just to be as unique as possible."

Weiss put her book down and leaned in closer to Ren to fully comprehend the story.

"Me personally I was indifferent to her, back then I didn't care about her anymore then anyone else at that place. Although one day Nora found a recipe for, what I understand was bug stew.

"Ew, gross," Weiss commented.

"Yeah I know. Anyway, she wanted everyone to try it, but didn't tell the caretakers that she was using the kitchen."

"Wait," Weiss asked, "Nora was just able to casually use the kitchen without anyone knowing."

"You'd be surprise what we were able to get away with at that place. So one of the girls named Thena, she decided to play a trick and stole a little bit of dust from the caretakers' office then she threw it into the concoction when Nora wasn't looking. Immediately I informed our caretaker Gwen, which at the last second she managed to pull Nora away before it exploded. Although Nora wasn't hurt at all, needless to say the massive amounts of dead burnt bugs made the kitchen a nightmare to be around." Weiss let out a shiver at the mental image.

"I know, but stay with me. So the punishment for Nora and Thena was they had to clean every inch of that mess before either of them could go to bed, and believe me they were up pretty late. I know this because in the middle of the night I got up to get a drink of water." Ren paused for a moment at the thought of that dreaded memory, "Then it happened."

* * *

Ten years ago, the young seven year old Nora wearing a pink shirt with a bear on it was being ridiculed by Thena, The slightly taller girl wearing a purple shirt with a sword and spear cross while little Ren came down the stairs wearing a green shirt and purple pajama bottoms listened in on their conversation, "Seriously what's wrong with you, who makes a stew out of bugs."

Nora shyly muttered, "I'm sorry."

"Oh, you're sorry. Well sorry doesn't get this nasty bug smell off me."

Nora stood up and barked back, "Look I said I was sorry alright, what else do you want from me?"

"Well you can leave, that would make me happy." Ren stood in shock as did Nora, who looked at her bully with watery eyes.

"What?" she asked.

"Yeah, nobody likes you here. We'd all be happier if you would just leave you stupid freak."

Nora broke down in tears, "Fine, I hate it here anyway," as she ran out the door she screamed, "AND I HATE ALL OF YOU!"

Ren quickly ran towards the door and he shouted, "NORA WAIT!" But she was nowhere to be found, she had disappeared into the forest. Ren usually stayed clear of the emotion of anger, he learned that emotion hinders a fighter in battle as it makes them more likely to make a mistake. He trained hard to expel that emotion completely to make sure to never let it control him, but today was an exception. He turned to Thena and fumed, "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, she could get hurt out there, don't you care?"

"So the mute finally speaks," Thena retorted, "and no, I don't care. If you do, you can go out there yourself. I'm going to bed."

* * *

Ren continued describing what happened, "So that's what I did, I ran outside in the cold, no shoes, and no idea where to go."

"Why didn't you just wake the caretakers up?" Weiss questioned.

"Well one I was seven and two I was too worried about Nora to think straight. Part of me did feel guilty for her running away, I mean I didn't participate in her ridicule, but I didn't help her situation by avoiding her. Out of all the kids there she seemed like the biggest distraction from my training, but there I was running bare foot in the cold getting dirty, getting scraped up, and worried I was just getting myself lost as well."

Ren paused for a moment as Weiss asked, "And then what happen."

"...I found her."

* * *

The small Ren frantically ran around the forest shouting, "NORAAAAAA, NORAAAAAA." Then stopped when he heard crying, he turned his attention to the source and found the small girl face down hugging and bawling her eyes out on her knees. "There you are," Ren gasped as he caught his breath, "Come on it's not safe here." The small girl ignored him. Ren looked at her, and began pulling her arm, "Come on we need to go back."

"WHY?!" Nora cried, "Everyone hates me, the orphans hate me, our caretakers hate me, everyone does." She slumped to the ground and mumbled, "just leave me here, I'll just live in the forest, where I can't bother anyone."

The little boy sighed and sat down next to her, he placed his hand on her head and began rubbing her hair, "I'm sorry... I could have been a better person to you. I saw how the others treated you and I didn't do anything... I'm so, so sorry." Nora sat back and saw Ren's feet with small cuts.

"Why'd you run outside without any shoes?"

"I didn't have time, I had to find you."

Nora took off hers, while still wearing socks, and placed them on his feet, "It's cold out here, you'll need these."

The two sat in silence as Ren stated, "... There's nothing I can say that will make you want to go back is there?"

"Nope, so you can just go back yourself."

"I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"... Well... it seems as though you're in need of a friend," Ren muttered this since he didn't know the first thing about friendship, "And... I feel perhaps we could-," before he can finish the small girl threw a hug onto him. Ren had never received a hug, the concept of friendship seemed scary, but if anyone needed a friend it was her, "You still don't want to go back, do you?"

Without releasing her hold she replied, "At least... not tonight."

* * *

An astonished Weiss was at the brink of crying as she muttered, "and then what?"

Ren continued, "Well, the two of us fell asleep in the forest keeping each other warm and then we played together the next morning until the search party rescued us... Honestly that morning we played in the forest is one of the happiest moments in my life."

"Wow I... you guys ARE really close."

Ren let out another sigh, "... I know she's weird, but if you can look past her flaws, you'll find she's one of the nicest, most kind hearted people in the world."

Weiss let out a loud groan as she covered her face with her hands, "I have to apologize don't I?"

"It certainly would be nice."

Looking back up she asked, "Well, can you come with me?"

"Sorry, if I did that then it wouldn't be your apology it would be ours, but if I may offer a suggestion."

* * *

In the room of team JNPR, Nora laid on her bed with dry tears on her face angry at that stupid judgmental Weiss. She heard a knock on the door, but didn't respond. As the door open she turned her attention to it and saw the ice queen herself. As she looked away and lied back down she mumbled, "what do you want?"

Weiss pulled out a chair and sat next to the bed Nora was laying on, "I want to apologize for my behavior, I overreacted and I'm sorry."

Without even looking at her Nora responded, "Fine, whatever. Just get out now."

"Well I would, but I also thought... I should... help you finish the story." Nora sat up and looked at the rich girl in disgust as Weiss began reading where they left off, "As the sight grew gruesome, little Ruby was frozen in shock. She slowly backed away from her sister's murder, but once she stepped on a branch, this alerted the killer clown as the killer's head did a perfect one hundred and eighty degree turn. Ruby attempted to run, but Weiss had become much faster than her now and tackled the poor girl down." With a slight sinister voice, Weiss acted, "where do you think you're going little girl? Ruby cried-"

Before she could finish, Nora snatched the story out of Weiss's hands. Weiss took this to mean she was too disgusted to hear her speak, that is until Nora cleared her throat, "Why are doing this, why would hurt you're own friends?"

Once Nora gave the creepy pasta back, Weiss smiled and read, "Oh my sweet little child, don't you know sometimes to truly understand someone... you have to hurt them?"

* * *

 **So yeah, just saw the episode that showed Ren and Nora's canon backstory and surprise, surprise it's different than what I wrote, but hey that's the thing about fan fiction, so much of it becomes inaccurate sooner or later, since all fan fiction is non canon. Just understand I wrote this backstory, partly with the purpose of introducing Thena, but ultimately doesn't sway from the theme of parodying fan fiction themes in general  
**


	5. 5 Nora writes a play Part 1 casting

In the room of team JNPR, we find all four members sifting through the massive amounts of fan fiction written by Nora Valkyrie. Jaune reading his out loud, "It was a warm summer morning when Scrotie Mc. Booger balls awoke to find a," Jaune cringed for a moment, "oh god, he took a, ewww, with his," barely able to keep his lunch, he rushed to the small trash can to unload his vomit. "Uh, well we definitely can't use that one. Hey Pyrrha how's the one you're reading?"

The Spartan woman did not respond, instead she was captivated by the story. She let out a small amount of drool, her face was immensely red, her nose having the tiniest amount of blood coming out, and she moaned ever so slightly, "oh my god."

"Pyrrha?"

Breaking out of her trance she jumped flinging the story out of her hands and frantically mumbled, "WHAT, WHO. I UH?"

"What were you reading?"

Without her being able to answer, Nora picked up the story and commented, "OOOOO, seems someone likes Ozpin and Ironwood in some... LEWD situations."

"I?" Pyrrha mumbled.

"No worries girl, I'll just put this one in your sock drawer so you can read it later." With the ginger inserted the story inside the drawer, "but we still need to find the perfect fan fiction for our play. My audience is counting on us... hmmmm OH, what about Clown Weiss VS Jaune the killer. I'm sure everyone would love a good versus match story."

With Jaune awkwardly rubbing his head, Ren spoke up, "Nora, Ozpin was very clear about this project before agreeing to it. No sex, no gruesome murders, and no platen uses of gross out."

Nora thought about this hard and came to a conclusion, after pulling out two stories she declared, "Okay so we have only two choices here, either The hatred for one's true self-"

"Definitely not," Jaune interrupted.

Ren then asked, "Well what's the other one?"

* * *

Cutting to the auditorium we see Nora and Weiss addressing a small group of boys. Nora declared, "Alright men, you're all here to audition for the male lead role of Qrow, a perverted, rude, drunk who has a heart of gold for the strict military lady Winter Schnee. Now any questions?"

Cardin raised his hand, "Yes according to this script the male lead has a kissing scene with the female lead."

"That is correct."

"Anyway we can change that, maybe just a loving embrace?"

Weiss who was playing the female lead defended, "It's just a small touch of the lips Cardin, it's not a full make out session. And we're only doing an actual kiss for the show, not for any of the rehearsals." Although she herself wasn't crazy about the idea either, part of her still felt bad for her behavior at the campsite. So what was one little kiss in order to make amends with a friend.

Scratching his head he muttered back, "I just... don't know if I feel comfortable about it."

Nora sympathizing, "Well why don't you play General Ironwood, he doesn't kiss anyone."

"OOOOO, that does sound wonderful."

After he left, the remaining men were Sun, Dove, Fox, Yatsuhashi, and Scarlet. The two ladies looked at each, "This doesn't look good," Weiss commented, "Sun, why isn't Neptune auditioning?"

With a chuckle Sun answered, "If there's anything he fears more than water, it's stage fright."

Nora let out a sigh being disappointed, because she felt Neptune would have worked great, but jumped back up with a perky attitude, "WELL OKAY THEN, let's get started."

* * *

With Weiss running a scene with each of the boys one by one Nora sat in the front row judging each of them. Ruby and Yang sat further back commenting on the auditions. "Wow, Scarlet really can't act can he," Ruby judged.

Yang added, "Yeah and why is Sun yelling at him so much, it seems so unlike him?"

"Well according to Neptune, Scarlet constantly messes up the simplest tasks which annoys Sun a lot. That and he tends to say the dumbest things, Like apparently he asked if babies could float."

"Are you serious what the fuck is wrong with him?"

"I don't know, I guess he heard something about women giving birth in water or something."

Mercury walk in on the conversation and sat next to the two ladies, "Well this is some interesting context I happen to stumble upon," turning his attention to the stage he asked, "What's going on here?"

Ruby excitedly answered, "It's a play of a love story about my uncle and Weiss's sister, it's going to be so cute when it comes out."

"If it comes out," Yang groaned, "I don't think any of these guys can properly act out our uncle Qrow."

With Nora letting out a huge sigh, "Alright Dove you did... okay I guess, maybe next time you can finish the first sentence of your line." With the last boy nervously leaving the stage the ginger girl groaned. "Uh, what are we going to do. Is there no boy here that can properly convey the role of a perverted rude drunk guy."

From the far back Mercury shouted, "Hey how about you cast a chick for the role of Qrow. Everyone likes a little girl on girl action, ha, I know I do."

Weiss snarled, "That exchange student is such a pig."

Nora perked up, "He is, isn't he."

With another shout the Gray haired Assassin added, "How about this big chested bimbo over here, she looks like she can pass for a dyke."

In rage Yang stood up with little Ruby holding her back, the blonde girl growled, "EXCUSE ME."

Nora on the other hand raised her excitement, "That was a really rude thing to say."

Kicking his feet back the boy ended with, "Eh, never mind. Not like I'm going to waste my time seeing your dumb play ever since your last disappointment." Mercury then reached into his pocket, pulling out a small flask, and began drinking out of it.

Replacing her rage with confusion, Yang was dumbfounded as the scent that resonated was too familiar to not comment on, "Are you, drinking... what I think you're drinking... in a public place... at a school?"

To which he defended, "What are you a cop?"

With barely contained gittyness, Nora rushed over in a flash and asked, "Hey Mercury, do you want kiss a pretty lady?"

* * *

Outside of the school, over at a small coffee shop, there were four other exchange students. One was a large muscular Faunus boy who wore a cut off sleeveless jacket exposing his chest and had a small rhinoceros horn peaking out of his white scarf which wrapped around his face, covering his mouth. Another was a skinny silver haired boy who wore more elegant attire such as a black vest, gray dress undershirt, black dress shoes, black slacks, and glasses. A slightly shorter girl with pigtails, wearing big round glasses, a blue skirt, white blouse, and red neckerchief. And finally an athletic girl wearing silver chest plate armor and a purple undershirt. The athletic girl cried out, "GAH, there's nothing to do here. Hey Silver whens the tournament again?"

Without looking away from his laptop the well dress boy continued typing and answered, "As I said last week, not for a couple more months."

With another huge groaned she replied, "UUUUUUG, I'm so bored here."

The meek girl muttered, "You know I heard there's going to be a small play at this school," pulling out the flyer and placing it on the table she continued, "Yeah maybe we can all go to it together... or maybe just you and me... together... alone heh, heh."

With a deadpan stare the warrior woman replied, "Yeah I don't even like sharing a room with you guys. It's already quiet enough in there with Silver staring at his screens, Turok's lack of speech, and you Yandere... Well you kind of just creep me out in general with the way you look at me all the time. Why should I sit in some dark quiet auditorium with you guys while some untalented-" in the corner of her eye the mean girl picked up the flyer, "Nora Valkyrie?"

Yandere stuttering, "What, who? You don't know her or anything right? And even if you did know her she's not important to you right? You're not even into girls, unless maybe the right one comes around and shows you-"

"Shut up Yandere. And yes I do know her, haven't seen her in years though, but I definitely remember that FREAK." With a smirk the warrior girl stood up, "Come on guys, I think it's time to pay her a visit."

Silver pinching his temple and releasing a huge sigh, "Do we have to? I'm really close to hacking into that bunny girl's scroll from here, I do like me some Faunus nudes ain't that right big guy."

The short girl raged, "Don't you question our leader you disgusting furry douchebag."

The leader girl shouted, "KNOCK IT OFF, both of you. We're going to find Nora and that's finale."

With everyone leaving the table, Silver being the last one to leave let out another sigh and closed his laptop, "Fine. Whatever you say Thena."

* * *

 **Okay so unless I get inspiration again, this three to four chapter story arc will most likely be the last installment of this series (As I don't know any other angles to approach Fan fiction), but I do think it's an appropriate way to end it(for now at least). I'm predicting at least three more pages after this, but who knows how long this arc will be. Side note I'll be trying to write for this and my other story alternating week by week. As in one week I'll write for this story and the next week is a new chapter for my other story, but no promises I'll stick to that schedule. I like to write when I have inspiration(not to mention RWBY Volume 4 is coming out and Xenoverse 2). I do have the groundwork for this one done already so in other words this story will be completed when I get around to it. Sorry, but again I'd rather not force my work.**


	6. 6 Nora writes a play Part 2 old enemies

With Nora's play drawing near, most teams were supportive when they found out one or more of their members had been casted for it. Key word being mostly as two female students began questioning their male teammate on his decision to play the lead, "why are you doing this?" Emerald asked, "Since when do YOU act anyway?"

Cinder added onto their little interrogation, "Do you realize this little stunt will draw too much attention to us? We need to focus on the Vytal festival."

Mercury defended, "Oh come on Cinder, the Vytal festival is still months away. What am I suppose to do until then? Besides you're the one that handles all the meet and greets, you're the one who messages..." With a quick look around Black whispered, "You know who. As far as I'm concern, I'm only guilty of association at this point."

With a scowl the woman continue, "Are you questioning my authority?"

With a groan he answered, "No MOM. I'm just saying, there's no real harm in me going into the spotlight, after all that Weiss chick is kind of cute."

"Should I be concern of you fraternizing with the enemy?"

"No, no of course not. Sure now it's a small kiss, but maybe working together so closely I can charm her enough to bring her back to the dorm, maybe place a little sock on the doorknob if you know what I'm saying."

The two women gave him a deadpan stare with Emerald asking, "Do we look like your guy friends?"

Cinder decided to give in and stated, "Fine, you can have your little play, just make sure you don't develop feelings with the Schnee girl. It would be a shame if the two of you fell in love for real."

"Love?" Mercury laughed, "Who said anything about love, I'm just looking for a good lay. Can't beat my meat forever."

With the two women collectively sharing in disgust Emerald replied, "Dude, too much information."

* * *

Nora, directing the rehearsal, had this too say, "Okay Mercury, loving your energy. You're everything I need for the role of Qrow, but Weiss come on girl. You haven't seen your loved one in forever, you thought he was going to return to his old ways and that you'd never see him again. What I need from you is a mix of shock, but with the tiniest amount of anger under your breath. Right now all I'm getting out of you is just disgust."

The rich girl growled, "That's because my co-star smells like a bar."

"I know, I told him to get drunk during rehearsals."

"WHAT?"

"Well come on Weiss, he has to get into proper character."

Ren interjecting, "Um, Nora. You know it's illegal for any of us to drink alcohol right?"

"Yes, but his character is of age."

"True, but if Ozpin or any other professor just so happen to check on our progress and find a drunk student, it could mean said student will be expelled."

Wide eyed, Nora turn her attention to her male lead, "Um, Mercury... Why don't you take the rest of the day off, my co director has a point."

The silver haired assassin replied, "WHAT, come oooooon I feel... I *burp*. Okay, you know what, I uh think you're right. So uh, I think I'm uh, gonna go lie down now."

Nora walked to the side to address her two stage hands Pyrrha and Jaune, "Hey guys, you think the two of you might want to reconsider being in the play?"

The Spartan lady rubbed the back of her head, "Nora, it was one thing to read out a story to a small group of people, but an audience, well that's a little overwhelming."

Ren bringing up, "Didn't you pose for the box of Pumpkin Pete's cereal?"

"Yeah, but that was just a few photos. This is performing live in front of so many people."

Nora comforted her, "Look all I need is a few more extras, you wouldn't even have any lines. Just wear a costume and stand around."

"Well... I guess that isn't too bad."

"AWESOME, what about you Jaune?"

Jaune looking at Pyrrha answered, "Well I guess if she's in, I'm in."

"YES, team Juniper is diligently working towards-"

"NORA, Valkyrie," a familiar voice called out. It was a voice that brought on so many feelings of dread. One that brought so many cold memories. No it couldn't be her Nora thought, but it was. The ginger girl stood in fear when she was faced with her old enemy, Thena, who was standing in front of what appears to be her team. A tall and muscular Faunus boy with his arms crossed, a meek shy girl hiding behind Thena, and a well dressed silver haired boy uninterested with the meet up looking away from team Juniper. The armored athletic girl grinned at the motionless Nora who began to murmur which Thena responded with, "It's been too long hasn't it."

Soon after the members of team RWBY made their way to team JNPR. Weiss looking in on a petrified Nora and a resentful Ren, turned her attention to the source of their stares, she then asked Ren, "is that, who I think it is?"

Ren made one quick growling, "Yep."

Ruby added on, "Wait what, who is that girl? What's going on?"

"I'll uh," Weiss stammered, "I'll tell you later."

Thena continued on, "No, but seriously I didn't think someone as special as you could even be excepted into a huntsmen academy and look at you now, you created a little play, isn't that adorable guys. Now tell me which one of you is the leader of Nora's group?"

Jaune taking a few steps forward answered, "uh that would be me."

"What do you think about Nora?"

"... Well she's a capable fighter, an amazing friend, and well... she breaths life everywhere she goes. I honestly can't imagine having anyone else on my team." With those kind words, Nora was finally able to break out of her trance. She remembered that she was no longer in that orphanage anymore. That she had multiple friends now and that they all loved her for those reasons.

"Wow," Nora muttered, "Thanks Jaune." Ren was also happy to see his old friend had smiled again after reuniting with her old bully. However before the bully girl could tear her back down, Blake simply had to say something.

"Okay you know what, elephant in the room-"

"Pretty sure he's a rhino," Yang jested.

With a glare at her friend's interruption Blake continued, "what's with your giant friend over there? How is he a student, he looks thirty?"

The massive Rhino man stared down the cat girl and with a low deep voice he replied, "... I am twelve."

With a collective shock from both teams RWBY and JNPR, Silver thought it would be best to explained, "Yeah, it was a shock to the rest of us as well, but I checked his birth certificate and everything. He is indeed twelve years old."

Ruby commented, "And I thought I was young to be a huntress."

Wishing to continue to mock Nora, Thena was once again interrupted by Blake, "Sorry it's just really distracting to see someone like him as a student."

Yandere, who was furious anyone would even slightly annoy her Thena, stepped forward and began screaming at the cat girl, "YEAH, WELL NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK BITCH."

"Yandere," Thena pleaded.

"MY LEADER HAS IMPORTANT THINGS TO SAY AND YOU'RE STUPID QUESTIONS ARE KEEPING HER FROM SAYING THEM."

"Yandere!"

"THENA IS THE MOST TALENTED, SMARTEST, SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD, AND YOU WOULD DO WELL TO-"

"YANDERE!" Thena shouted.

Feeling embarrassed the shy grabbed onto her pigtails and murmured, "I was... being distracting again huh."

"You think."

Making her way back behind her leader, the meek girl continued, "I'll uh, I'll be quiet now."

Jaune adding on, "Hang on, did you say her name was Thena?"

Answering for her, Thena replied, "The one and only."

"That's where I know you guys from, You're team is currently on the box of Pumpkin Pete's cereal." Taking out his scroll, "Yeah I read about you guys in an article the other day, how you four stopped a heard of Goliaths from trampling a village. Even fully fledged huntsmen and huntresses would have had trouble with that. Yeah you guys are team..." Staring at the article he had to do a double take as the letters read TYTS. "... Tits?"

Barely containing her rage Thena took a deep breath and spoke through her teeth, "No... you silly misguided imbecile." Able to contain her frustration better, "we are team tyrants. A powerful name that demands respect, that shuts down any threats, it is a name that says we are superior to everyone and that is simply because*laughs* we are."

Feeling empowered, Silver adds on, "Yeah no one calls us that." As Thena held in her rage again the well dress boy stated, "the sooner you give in and accept we are team tits, the better."

Yandere, picking up on her crush's anger shouted, "SHUT THE HELL UP SILVER." Thena didn't say anything that time, instead she just glared at her meek teammate some more, "Sorry Thena, I let it slip again."

Turning her attention back to Jaune, "Well it seems we both have our idiots to deal with, though if Nora is anything like how I remember her than I truly feel sorry you have to deal with that FREAK."

Ren was already mad at Thena's presence as is, but her using that word was the last straw. He was about to tell her off, but then was stopped when his old friend placed her hand on his arm. He turned to see her smiling at him, which all he could do at that point was smile back. His friend then walked towards their childhood enemy and said, "You know Thena, when I saw you today, a lot of bad memories came flooding back. You and many others gave me a horrible childhood, but in a way I think have to thank you guys for it." Confused by this the bully girl listened on. "If it weren't for that night, Ren and I never would have become best friends, I wouldn't have been motivated to study extra hard to get excepted to the same academy he wanted to go to and then I wouldn't have made so many friends here."

Thena chuckled, "So what, is this your way of forgiving me?"

"...Nope, I don't think I could ever do that, but I don't think I can ever be bothered by you anymore. I mean what, you found out I happen to attend this school and took it as an opportunity to make fun of me. To be honest, you just seem petty now. I guess neither of us has changed much since the orphanage, but I'm happy now and I refused to let you take that away from me just because it's the only way to make yourself feel better. Now if you'll excuse me, I got a play to work on."

Returning to her large group of friends, Nora was showered in attention and compliments for handling the situation so well. Thena looked at the ginger girl in a scowl, but quickly changed her expression into a sinister smirk. Silver noticing this sighed, "You want to ruin her play don't you."

The athletic girl turned to him and chirped, "Oh Silver, you can read me like a book, can't you."

* * *

 **Nice RWBY volume 4 is out and it looks promising. Can't wait to see what happens next. Anyways was really looking forward to writing this scene, mostly because I love my new OC team. I tried to base their personalities as the four bully type characters. The mean pretty popular girl, the cyber bully, the brute, and the crazy one.**


	7. 7 Nora writes a play Part 3 the accident

In the lunchroom we find our heroes teams RWBY, JNPR, CFVY, SSSN, the newly reformed CRDL and the lone Mercury all listening in on Nora, discussing her plans on the upcoming play as she stood on top of the table. However, little did they know across the galley, the dreaded team TYTS were planning the demise of their show. "Alright Silver, what did you find on our leading lady," Thena asked.

While clearing his throat the well dressed student turned away from his laptop and replied, "Not really anything. I've hacked into all of her personal electronics and her social media sites and I can't find any dirt to blackmail her with. I'm surprised the Schnee girl doesn't even have any nudes, that's the real disappointment."

"What about her family? There's gotta be some dirt about them, so we can force her to sabotage this play."

"HA, yeah there's no Schnee family secret we can't already find on any pro Faunus blog. You'll have to think of something else."

Yandere jumps up, "Oh, I know. We'll break her legs."

With a deadpan stare Thena groaned, "Yandere, that's your answer to everything."

"Well I mean, it would still ruin their play right?"

Pinching his temple Silver groaned, "Look, why can't you just let it go and just get yourself laid or something? I mean what ever happened to that last boy you were dating?"

With a quick response Yandere answered, "Oh, he got himself murdered."

Turok looking up from his meal question, "Murdered? I thought he committed suicide."

"YES SUICIDE, that is exactly what happened... and nothing else. Certainly not murder HAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAH."

With a grunt Thena replied, "Look I have plenty of reasons to hate Nora. She may play the victim card but trust me she was just a nightmare to all of us in that orphanage."

Silver giggled, "What, did she show you a scarwy spider?" Not answering, all Thena could do is shiver at that memory, in which Silver continued, "Oh my god she did didn't she. *laughs* no wonder you hate her so much. Aw, did the itty bitty spider scare you? AWWWWWW."

"LOOK! Spiders are fucking scary alright. And there's a lot more crazier stunts that freak pulled on us, she tried to make us all eat bug soup for crying out loud."

"Okay that is pretty gross."

"Hell yeah it is, naturally I had to stop her from feeding us that garbage. She may seem innocent, but that freak is a monster. If anything she ruined my childhood, that is until I got adopted."

"Okay fine, but all that was like what, ten years ago? Why not just let it go now?"

"She disrespected me Silver. So we're ruining that fucking play. HMMM... Yandere, perhaps your idea isn't all that stupid after all."

* * *

The day before opening night we find all our actors in one final rehearsal, during which both Cinder and Emerald had decided to sit in on the far back and watched the progress. Mercury walking towards Weiss, who had her back turned away from him, portrayed, "Winter, I can't let you go through with this. You don't love her."

"No," Weiss replied, "I don't love her, put if marrying Salem is the only way for us... all of us to have peace, then I would gladly submit myself to a torturous life with her."

"We'll find another way."

"Like what, fight? Her forces will decimate everyone, one by one until there is nothing left. Face it Qrow, this is our only option."

"... So that's it huh, just going to leave the rest of us hanging for a loveless marriage."

Turning around Weiss acted, "What would you know about love, how many barmaids have you gone home with? How many-"

* * *

In the back row, both Cinder and Emerald were dumbfounded by the story, "Why would Salem care about getting married?" Cinder asked, "It's like these hacks don't know her at all."

Emerald replied, "Well, the less they know about her the better right. Though a small part of me wishes to see her reaction to this story. Seeing as how Salem hates homosexuality more than Ozpin."

* * *

Yang laughs maniacally and states, "Oh Qrow, you think a few mean words are going to stop this from happening. Winter will be my bride, I will rule my land as I see fit, and at least half the population of Remnant will live happily ever after. Unless of course you wish to ruin it for everyone."

While the two continued their exchange, up in the rafters we find Yandere unscrewing one of the stage lights directly above where Weiss was standing. After removing the last screw, she held onto the light with one hand and with her other spoke into her scroll, "alright Thena I'm ready to go, but this thing is really heavy I don't think I can hold it very long by myself."

On the other end we find Thena speaking into her scroll while holding a copy of the script, "Don't worry, you only have to hold it for a few seconds and then when I give the signal, let go and run like hell."

Back on stage we see Mercury holding onto his shoulder as if to simulate an injury while Weiss grabbed Yang's arm she pleaded, "Please Salem he doesn't mean what he says, you can't-"

"I CAN'T WHAT?" Yang barked, "I am a god compared to you ants, you best be sure to remember that. And here's a little reminder in case you forget." The blonde girl swung her hand in a backhanded attack missing Weiss's face by mere centimeters. The rich girl turned her face into the direction of the slap, held onto the side of her face, and fell to the floor.

Mercury shouted, "How dare you lay a hand on her, you wi-"

Before he could finish the stage light fell, crushing one of the Schnee's feet. Her acting pain turned into real pain as she screamed. Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to help the situation.

* * *

With all of team RWBY and JNPR outside of the infirmary we find down the hall the perpetrators team TYTS. Thena scoffs, "No leading lady, no play."

Silver replies, "Have I ever told you, how much of a bitch you are?"

"Yes, several times even."

"Starting to think that's a mild insult at this point."

After Ruby leaves the infirmary, she addresses both teams, "they said she'll make a full recovery in no time although she'll have to stay off her leg for a while."

Jaune groaned, "I don't get it, Pyrrha and I check those lights a thousand times, this shouldn't have happened."

Nora turned and replied, "well it did, so now we're going to have to cancel the play. We don't need anymore accidents." Wanting to walk away the ginger was stopped by her friend Pyrrha who grabbed her hand.

The Spartan lady stated, "We can't cancel, we all worked so hard on this and you were so happy knowing so many people are excited to see this play. Nora your stories are a bit... unconventional, but we can't quit now."

Ruby added, "Weiss did say she felt guilty not being able to follow through with her promise."

Nora asked, "but what if someone else gets hurt?"

Pyrrha answered, "Nora, my semblance is polarity. I'll keep a close eye on any more falling lights and look out for anything else that seems dangerous for now on."

Still uneasy the ginger girl pouted, "we still don't have the female lead and it's too late to find one now. Opening night is tomorrow."

Ren stood in front of his childhood friend and placed his hand on her shoulder, "Actually, I think we do."

"... Me?"

"Who else knows the role better than the writer."

With a smirk the ginger replied, "You know Ren, this means you've been promoted from assistant director to director right."

"I will gladly take on the added burden," turning to the two teams, "Alright everyone, first we need to comfort Weiss and run rehearsal again. Pyrrha I want you on those rafters at all times."

With some cheering, the ease dropping Thena grunted, "well that could have gone better."

Silver groaned, "And it looks like they'll be actively avoiding any accidents. So can we just leave them alone already?"

"No, now we have to sabotage their play through a different approach and I think I have an idea."

* * *

 **Boy did that take a lot longer than it should have, had a bit of writers block trying to find a way to organically have Nora replace Weiss because for my overall story to work she needs to replace her. Anyways, I had this idea of having Yang play Salem since her hair is massively bulky so it's believable she could pull off the look with make up and hair dye, but then I thought is Salem a known threat like the white fang? Because honestly Nora writes a fanfiction takes place in between volumes 2 and 3 as that would be the only time it would make sense. However the more I thought about it both Qrow and Winter didn't even show up until mid volume 3 and by then the Vytal festival was already occurring. Which doesn't leave a lot of time in between introducing Qrow and Winter writing a play and having the tournament going on simultaneously. I guess it's possible that Ruby and Weiss may have mention these people to Nora which gave her inspiration to write a ship fic, but the more and more I try to fit this segment in with canon, the more of a stretch it had become. So whether or not the Teams RWBY and JNPR know who Salem is, is overall irrelevant since no matter what this is all ultimately noncanon. Hell for one thing Cardin's still a jerk and isn't gay. So overall, I just decided to say fuck it.**


	8. 8 Nora writes a play Part 4 show time

Tonight was the night. The auditorium was packed of Nora's fans all ready to see her play unfold. At the backstage we find all hands on deck with actors and stage hands, minus Yang, ready for Ren to give them direction. "Pyrrha, you stay on those rafters and make any and all attempts to prevent accidents" Ren instructed.

"Got it," She conceded.

"Mercury I need you to... Mercury why aren't you in costume yet?"

"HEY! I don't tell you how to tell me to do stuff. Don't *burp* tell me how to tell you how to tell me to do stuff," The silver assassin responded.

"... Are you drunk again?"

"Maybe."

Ren let out a massive groan, "we don't have time for this," he whispered. "Jaune, can you get him some coffee and drag him to the dressing room?"

"Can do," Jaune answered as he guided the drunk teenager away.

"Luckily his first scene isn't for a while. Now we just need to wait for Yang to be done with make up and-"

Before he had time to finish, the director was interrupted by the squeals of Ruby Rose, "DAD! UNCLE QROW," She called out rushing to her family. The two men were walking along side Professor Ozpin and Ruby immediately jumped onto her father, latching onto him with arms and legs, "It's so great to see you, I thought you and uncle Qrow were going to be busy."

"What and miss out on my little pumpkin's performance," Taiyang stated while rubbing his daughter's head, "Not a chance, of course I had to drag this jerk along the way too."

While Qrow took a sip of his flask he commented, "Yeah, I ran out of leads for my current... Errand, so why not take a break and check on you rascals. Besides I heard I was a main character in this story."

After letting go of her father Ruby rushed to the injured Weiss, "Oh my god, wouldn't it be awesome if your sister came here too."

Weiss did picture the hypothetical situation and the thought of her sister watching a play of her falling in love with Qrow of all people did feel kind of troubling to the rich girl. After rubbing her head Weiss added, "Well it certainly would be something, heh heh. But she's got better things to do so the likelihood of her coming here is very low."

"Don't be so sure about that," a voice called from the back. Walking in from the same direction was none other than Winter Schnee herself.

Qrow chuckled, "So ice queen, Ol Jimmy let you off your leash long enough for some family bonding. Didn't even know you Schnees cared about family."

Ignoring his comment Winter made a B-line to Weiss, "When father heard you were trying your hand at acting, he requested I come evaluate your skills," explained the older Schnee as she knelt down to investigate her sister's injury, "Though it seems you negated to inform us of this. What happen?"

"It's not as bad as it looks," the younger Schnee answered. "My natural emitted aura absorbed most of the damaged when the stage light fell on my foot, but I do need to stay off it for a while."

"Very well, if you are in good health I will take my leave then. No sense in attending a play if you're not in it."

Ruby cried out, "Aw, do you have to?" While Ruby expressed her dismay, Weiss was secretly at ease.

"I'm afraid I do," Winter answered, "My job is too important to waste time in a small budgeted school performance."

However the elder Schnee did not make it three feet without hearing the infuriating sound of Qrow mocking her. "Ha, typical ice queen," he muttered.

Turning around she glared at her enemy, "Do you have something to say Branwen?

While widening his eyes and pointing to himself, "Who me?" Said Qrow, "I just thought I'd point out the irony in you Schnees. That you come visit only to leave when it becomes convenient for you. *chuckles* for a moment you guys almost seemed human, but I guess it was wrong of me to think your kind actual cared about family."

With an intensive glare Winter growled, "I'll have you know, I care deeply about my entire family Branwen."

"Suuuuuuure, you do," Qrow retaliated then took another long sip of his flask.

The elder Schnee resisted every urge to strike at him, but simply took a deep breath, turn to her sister, and declared, "Weiss, I have changed my mind. You and I now will watch this play together and soon afterwards I will take my leave."

Ruby hugging her friend cheered, "Yay, they're both going to see it."

While all Weiss could do is put on the fakest smile and say, "Great, this will be an interesting night."

Qrow then teased some more, "And they say the witch's heart grew three sizes that day."

"Shut up," Winter snarled.

"Okay well," Taiyang interjected, "That was an awkward exchange. Hey Rubs, where's your sister?

"Oh she's still in make up getting ready for-"

"DAD! UNCLE QROW!"

Easily recognizing the voice Taiyang turned to greet his other daughter, however him and the other three adults were all left in shock of what Yang looked like. What put many of them on edge was the spitting image of a miniaturized version of Salem. Yang wore her black dress, white hair along with white and black makeup. The four adults were speechless as to what Yang was dressed as and even more so hearing cheerful Yang's voice through the atrocious site. "It's so great to see you guys," Yang chirped as she threw a hug on her father.

However Taiyang awkwardly held his arms out and commented, "That's a- that's an interesting look for you pumpkin."

After releasing her father she responded, "Do you like it? Looks really creepy, right?"

"Uh, well it certainly is authentic. Right Qrow?"

The somewhat sober uncle stared down at the appalling site and replied, "Yeeeeaaaah- No comment."

Ozpin feeling the most uncomfortable of all simply declare, "Gentlemen, Miss Scknee. Perhaps we should take our seats and um... try to enjoy the show."

With the four leaving Yang turn towards her sister, "Wow, they seemed really freaked out."

"Can you blame them," Ruby added, "It's amazing how scary you look right now."

"I know right!"

Cutting to the four adults Taiyang asks, "So am I alone here, or was that really fucked up?"

"For once I think I agree with you," Qrow assured.

Ozpin interjected, "Look, clearly Nora knows... SOME things about Salem. Perhaps this play will give us some insight as to what she knows, and sometime in the near future I'll schedule a private meeting with her."

Winter added, "Guess that means I have two reasons to watch this play."

* * *

As the Play was merely minutes away from starting, we find a packed auditorium with only one seat left available. This front row seat was the only thing separating Qrow and Winter as she barked, "I detest having to sit this close to you Branwen."

"Feelings mutual," Qrow hissed, "In fact I'd get black out drunk right now just so I don't have to remember sitting this close to you. However I'd like to remember my girls' performance tonight."

Winter wanted to argue some more, but was silence when seeing her younger sibling limping and struggling to make it to the empty seat. "Weiss hold still let me help you," the elder Schnee assisted.

With the younger sibling safely in the chair she muttered," Thanks."

Still feeling a little unease as to what her sister's reaction will be, Weiss was quickly broken out of her trance when Qrow asked, "So ice princess, has Winter ever told you about her first time trying alcohol?"

"Um, no," the younger Schnee answered.

"Well let me tell ya, we were having this party right, and well lets just say after two drinks Winter and this other girl started-"

"WEISS, switch seats with me, NOW!" Winter demanded.

* * *

 **Sorry this one took longer than it should have. Been busy with family, work, and to top it all off I had a little bit of writers block. Don't get me wrong I have the whole story laid out I just had a difficult time finding a good start for this chapter. Anyways I'd say at least two chapters left so stay tuned.**


	9. 9 Nora writes a play Part 5 we're back

With the play deep into the story we find on stage our male lead surrounded by two Team Cardinal actors, Russel Thrush the green Mohawk student and Sky Lark the taller blue hair student. Russel, who was facing Mercury directly, had the openly line, "Alright pretty boy, prepare to feel the wrath of T-," Before he can finish Mercury cut him off by punching him in the face.

Followed by the audience laughter Russel began, "DAH! You god damn wanker, you punch me right in the- **(** **A** **nother punch)** Dah gaw, you did it again, **(Another punch)** Stop it, stop it, **(Another punch)** PISS! Oh what did Salem tell us to do in this situation?"

At the end of the line, the entire crowd fell silent as a bright spotlight fell upon Yang, dressed as Salem as she delivered her line in an echoed voice, "Tyrian, if you ever find yourself being repeatedly punch in the face. Always remember to-"

With the light and Yang's line cut off, we see Mercury delivering yet another punch with Russel crying, "GAW, he cut off the Queen."

Finally Mercury spoke, "So, are you going to dodge any of these?"

"OOOOOO, that's what she- **(Another punch)** HAZEL! SUPPORT!"

Sky lark, finally delivering his first line of the scene, "Well you have very nice hair, your skin is beautifully silky smooth, and honestly you're the only guy I can trust on this team."

Russel screamed, "I MEANT PUNCH HIM YOU DEATH BASTARD! Oh but thanks, you know. That really cheered me **(Another punch)** GAW I think he broke something that time!"

* * *

While everyone was laughing, Winter still sat unamused upon the event, "Okay seriously, no one would willingly just stand there and let their opponent repeatedly strike at them like that. That's just stupid."

After taking another sip of his flask, Qrow added, "It's called comedy, not like you Schnee's would know a thing about that. Besides, pretty sure a blatant casual punch would be so abnormal, no one would expect it from happening. I might actually give it a shot one of these days"

"You know what Branwen, why don't you try it and see how unrealistic it really is."

"The only unrealistic thing about this play is that anyone would find you attractive, much less two people and one of them is supposedly me. To be honest I think I'd rather stick my dick in an anthill."

"And I'd rather spend an eternity with Salem, than another evening with you."

Weiss sat there quietly listening in on their discussion thinking to herself 'maybe I should have sat between them, this experience would be less awkward that way.'

* * *

Backstage, however, we find Nora and Ren doing a quick rehearsal for the ending. Ren explained, "Okay, so when Mercury enters, you slowly turn around and say, what are you doing here."

Nora took a deep breath, but brashly spouted, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

"No, no, this isn't a comedic moment. Remember, Winter believed she was never going to see Qrow again. Her expression needs to be pure shock, but her professionalism needs to keep her from showing love."

"Right got it, sorry. Let me try again, *ahem*... WHAT ARE YOU- no sorry. Let me try again." Closes eyes, breathes in... "WHAT ARE -, no that's not right."

"Are you okay?"

"It's just, everyone is loving my play and I'm too excited to do this calmly." With a tap on the shoulder, Nora turned to see Jaune as she asked, "What are you doing here?"

Ren quickly interjected, "YES THAT, say that again."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

"No, you just had it."

Jaune commented, "Ooooookay I don't know what's going on here, but you're needed on stage."

"Oh okay," Nora responded, "Time to really let them have it."

Ren grabbed her hand, "Wait do you still want to do the kissing scene, we could end this right after Cardin's song and it would still be a satisfying ending."

"Well I gotta have my first kiss sometime, and I can think of a few worse ways to have it." She explained breaking from his grasp.

* * *

Ten minutes later after the conclusive battle had come to a close, Yang/Salem was melted with a pale of water and all that remained was Mercury/Qrow and Nora/Winter. Mercury had his back turned away from Nora as she called out, "So that's it, you're just going to leave."

"I just did you a favor, okay Schnee. So how about we leave on good terms."

"How about you don't leave at all. Salem might be gone, but we still need you."

"Word of advice, go find yourself a nice man or woman or whatever it is you're into and have yourself a happy life. The further you are from me the better."

"Well, go ahead and take care of yourself. That is what you're best at."

While continuously facing the opposite direction, Mercury walked off. Shortly after leaving Nora alone, entered various other actors such as Cardin, Ruby, Dove, Sun, and Scarlet. Cardin announced, "Congratulations everyone, we officially have peace from that wicked witch Salem. Ah, Winter do you know where Qrow went."

"...He left," Nora answered.

"Oh, well that's unfortunate. I was beginning to tolerate him."

"Yeah... me too."

"Hey don't be sad, this is a happy day. For all of us, in fact I'm so happy, I think I might sing about it." With a little music being played in the background, "You know what, I think I will sing- *Deep Breath* OOOOOO,"

* * *

Backstage Mercury commented on the current scene, "Wait I don't remember a musical number."

Ren answered, "Yeah Cardin insisted at the last minute and Nora was excited about it."

"Ha, that Nora chick is pretty special. Is she a good kisser?"

"... I wouldn't know, we've never kissed before."

"Well hey buddy, better luck next time. As the old saying goes the early bird gets the worm, but don't worry I'll make sure she'll still spend plenty of time with her team once I use my charm on stage, after all not many can resist me after I plant a smooch on them. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta take a leak."

Not appreciating what he said, Ren simply just turned away from Mercury as to not cause any strife. Yes the grey assassin was approaching his reward, 'maybe I'll ACCIDENTALLY slip in some tongue' he thought. He'll just say he was in the moment. 'Hell what is she gonna do, ruin the scene-' his thought was silenced when he bumped into the very large rhino Faunus, Turok. The menacingly large figure starred daggers down at the young actor.

Mercury scoffed, "Hey wide load. I don't know if you ever got the message, but hallways are for everyone."

Turok didn't say anything, he just simply stood there and continued to stare at him.

"Fine, be that way." Mercury barked as he attempted to walk around him only to be met with Turok side stepping in the same direction.

Looking back up at him, Mercury laughed, "Heh, you sure you wanna do this hambo? I've taken down bigger guys than you without even trying."

Still no response except for the intensive glaring.

Mercury Shrugged, "Suit yourself." He then attempted a roundhouse kick, which his foot was caught right before it connected with Turok's face. Lifting up the grey haired assassin, he continually slammed him into the ground multiple times. Disoriented, he hung upside as the large Faunus began shaking him until his wallet fell out, then he threw him against the wall. Weaken, he looked up to see the remaining members of team TYTS.

Thena spoke bluntly, "Hate to do this to you, but there's always casualties in war right."

"War," Mercury coughed, "What war, who the hell are you people?"

Silver explained, "Apologies, why don't I explain. To your left you have our large friend Turok, he is the muscle of the group." As the assassin looked, he saw the rhino man removing the lien from his wallet and inserting it into his pockets. "My name is Silver, I am the brains and-"

"Bullshit!" Thena barked, "I'm the brains."

With a groaned, Silver replied, "We've been over this, you're the looks."

"We'll naturally I'm the looks, but as the leader that makes me the brains AND the looks."

Before Silver can make a retort on how he excels past her in all things academically Yandere interrupted, "Wait guys, which one am I again?

The two said in unison, "Wildcard."

"Really? That's awesome."

Struggling to get back on his feet Mercury shouted, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS EVEN TALKING ABOUT."

Thena giggled, "Oh, sorry. Silver and I are constantly butting heads from time to time. *ahem* Turok, sweetie. Can you grab him."

Suddenly, the grey assassin was lifted up by both of his legs as he struggled to get free. "HEY LET GO OF ME! HELP, SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

But it was a fruitless endeavor, the music was too loud from Cardin's song.

* * *

Back in the audience Qrow was laughing hysterically, "Ah man, I almost didn't even show up to this thing, but I'm glad I did. My only regret is ol Jimmy isn't going to be able to see this."

"Don't be so sure Mr. Branwen." Ozpin declared, "I'm filming this scene now and will be sure to send it to General Ironwood after the show."

* * *

 **Phew, sorry it took so long for an update. Was spending time with the family over the holidays, then I was writing a chapter for my other Fan fiction. Then I started a new Fan fiction, but I'm back and I'm ready to write. Also thought I should point out, the epic conclusion of Nora writes a play will be in the next chapter so stay tuned for that.**


	10. 10 Nora writes a play Part 6 Finale

With the ending growing near, our stage hands were freaking out, at the disappearance of the male lead. Nora was unaware of this incident, as her final song was coming to an end, a song about Winter losing her love. Jaune was probably the most worried, "NO, NO, NOOOOO! We need our Qrow or we can't have a happy ending."

With a flash of rose petals, Ruby entered the backstage, "Well Jaune, I checked the southeast bathrooms and he's not there either."

"Did you check the restrooms in the middle of the garden?"

"Why would he walk that far to-"

"JUST DO IT!"

"OKAY, OKAY. I'm going now," and with that, Ruby disappeared in another flash of rose petals.

"He's not going to be there you know," Ren dryly commented.

"WELL HE HAS TO BE SOMEWHERE! Where would he be?"

"I think you and I know what needs to happen."

"You're right, let's just face the music and give this play a more, bitter sweet ending."

"Nope, there's one simple solution we're overlooking."

* * *

"It's... over isn't it...," Nora sang, "Why, can't I... move oooooooooonnnnn." With the applause following at the end of her song, she turned away from the audience, in order not to reveal a massive smile on her face. This came from the joy, that her work of fiction was being greatly received. 'Okay,' she thought, 'all I got to do is wait for Mercury, give him a... kiss(ew, but whatever, it's for the play) and then soak in the applause.'

* * *

In the front seats, we find both Winter and Qrow, trying to shuffle away slightly from each other, while desperately trying to avoid eye contact. The elder Schnee, turned to her sister and whispered, "Did you... tell your friend I have a crush on this loser."

"No, no of course not," Weiss stammered, "To be honest, I've only had a handful of conversations with her and I never even mentioned I had a sister."

Looking back at the lone female lead, Winter thought to herself 'how does this girl know so much, but get everything wrong?'

* * *

Back on stage, Nora was approached by Cardin again as he nervously delivered his last lines, of the last scene, "uh, Winter. There's someone here to see you."

Nora snarled, "I don't care who it is, I want to be alone."

"Well, you'll definitely want to see him."

'Okay,' she thought, 'This is the last scene, so I can't mess this up, all I gotta do, is turn around, and say it calmly.' The young actress slowly turned, with her eyes shut, ready to burst out in excitement. It took all of her strength, to not ruin this scene with so much as a smile. Once she completely turned around, the smallest amount of her eyes started opening, but then they immediately shot wide open. Nora was in shock, as she muttered, "what are you doing here?"

Standing in front of her was not Mercury, but her best friend, dressed as Qrow. The man she came face to face with, was Ren, he then answered, "I've made a lot of mistakes in my time. Some of which kept me from being happy, but I know you love me and I certainly love you. We were always fated to be together."

Nora quickly turned around, 'oh my god Rens here, why is Ren here. Not that I'd have a problem with kissing him, he is very handsome, but, but,'... "How do I know it will work out, I know what I want, but wouldn't it..." Nora paused and began to blush when she heard Ren's steps coming closer, her lines started to stammer, "wouldn't it be easier to just stay friends."

Ren pulled her in close, Nora starred into his eyes and he starred back. After a small pause Ren continued, "it would, in fact a lot of things would be easier, but for once..." the two brought their faces closer, their foreheads touching, and each of them were smiling at each other, "For once, let's just let something magical happen already... Before some bad luck comes and ruins it." The two then planted a very small subtle peck on the lips, as the audience rejoiced in cheers. The real Winter and Qrow sat silently, both blushing from the performance. As the two witnessed the actors kiss, they turned, and starred at each other for a good second, but then quickly turned away in embarrassment.

* * *

Within half an hour, after the play ended, all members of teams RWBY and JNPR, were found backstage celebrating a successful performance. "Oh my god, that was so awesome," Ruby cried, "Ren! Why didn't you tell us you could act."

"Well I..." Ren mumbled while smiling at his best friend, "Just found my motivation."

"That was great performance," Nora added while blushing, "You all did great, I couldn't have asked for better actors."

"Yeah well," Yang asserted, "I think we could all agree, my villainous performance is what made that play wonderful, it was so great how I kept scaring my dad, I kept looking at him in the front and he always had this hilarious shocked expression on his face. He must of had a hard time seeing his little girl look so terrifying."

With the four grown ups approaching, as in Ozpin, Winter, Qrow, and Taiyang, the blonde father asked, "Okay, so what are you thinking Oz."

"Hmmm," the head master pondered, "Unless the real Salem has become a silly, uneducated, alcoholic. It seems very unlikely Nora knows anything substantial about our enemies or their plans, I see no reason to question her further."

As the four adults came closer, Yang asks, "Um Nora, why are you starring at my arm?"

"Well," Nora responded, "I'm weighing in, whether it's more noble to turn against what's fated to happen or if going against what's ultimately suppose to happen is a bigger crime than letting something horrible happen, and on top of that, would doing so, hurt the overall plans our author has for OUR story's adventures."

"Huh?"

"You know what, forget I said anything."

"...You're never going to start making sense are you."

With the four adults joining the actors, Ruby instinctively threw a hug on her father, she cheered, "Did you see us dad, what did you think, was I a good actor."

"You were phenomenal sweetie," Taiyang assured, "Same goes to you... uh, Salem."

"Thanks dad," Yang replied.

Winter then turned to her sister and said, "Well, that was an interesting experience, I'll be back soon enough to check on your progress as an ACTUAL, huntress in training."

"Love you too sis," Weiss said dryly.

With the elder Schnee leaving, Nora leaned towards Qrow and asked, "Soooooooooooooo, any feelings towards your ship?"

Qrow chuckled, "If you think writing a play is suppose to get people together then I got news for you kid, don't work like that."

"AH come on, the entire fanbase has wanted you two together ever since you were both introduced."

"The entire what now?"

"Look, there's gotta be something about her you like."

"...Hmmm. Well, she has a nice ass. Oh and as for my new mini me here," Qrow, directing his attention at Ren, "Good job out there, gotta admit, I preferred you over that silver haired loser. Guy gave off an arrogant douchy vibe."

"Psst," Taiyang retorted, "Then it's no wonder why they casted him as you."

"Yeah, yeah fuck you too. Anyway, whatever happened to that guy."

"We don't know," Ren answered, "He left to go to the bathroom, but then never came back."

* * *

On the other side of the school, Mercury was discovered by his two fellow teammates Cinder and Emerald. The Green haired thief struggled to remove the rest of the duct tape from his body, which held him against the wall, but with one final pull, the silver assassin fell off, and hit the ground hard. "Gaw, did you piss yourself," Emerald fumed.

"Not important," Mercury snarled, "What is important, is we find those assholes that did this to me, and make them pay."

"No," Cinder commanded, "We will not draw attention to ourselves because of a stupid prank."

"Yeah but they-"

"Well look at that," a familiar voice called out.

Mercury turned quickly, immediately remembering who it belong to, to which he found Silver standing down the hall. "YOU," the assassin barked. "I hope you have a good dentist, cause I'm about to smash your teeth in."

"Whoa now, hold on," Silver protested, "I just want you to know, what happened between us wasn't personal, I was just following orders. Hell, I was on my way to get you down myself."

"I DON'T CARE IF IT WAS PERSONAL. I'm kicking your ass regardless," The assassin attempted a roundhouse kick, however, Silver casually dodged this, then retaliated with a quick jab at his attacker's chest. This attack had a small amount of energy passing through Mercury's body, but left no sign of physical injury or any kind of indication of external damage whatsoever. This was not the case however, as Mercury than grabbed hold of his chest, ultimately confused, since the strike itself wasn't even delivered that hard, but he still felt a sharp pain in his chest.

The attack also confused Cinder, she had never seen a technique such as this. Emerald took a step forward, attempting to assist her teammate, but she was stopped by Cinder as she commanded, "WAIT. I wanna see what happens."

Silver than tried his hand at sympathizing with his opponent, "Look, you're not going to win this fight. So why not hear what I have to say and just let bygones be bygones? I'd really like for us to be friends."

This proposal however, was met with more attempted strikes from Mercury, each of them were being casually dodged, then Silver retaliated with two more quick jabs. Following with two more small amounts of energy, entering through the chest and out the assassin's back.

"GAW," Mercury cried out, unable to throw a proper kick, the assassin threw a couple of slow punches, in a last ditch effort to harm Silver. This was met with even less effort on Silver's part as he continually to dodge all of them easy. Mercury barked in between his strikes,"WHY, CAN'T, I, HIT, YO-"

Before he could finish, Silver threw another blow, this time an open hand palm, towards the assassin's gut. This allowed a larger amount of energy to pass though Mercury's body, he then grasped his stomach tightly, then started resting on his knees, and began coughing intensely. The well dressed teen then answered, "Well that's because my semblance is being able to read minds, thus making it easy to predict your moves, as for my attacks, WELL... I learned by sacrificing some of my aura, I can bypass your aura, and attack your organs directly. Don't worry though, I'm not using enough to cause any permanent damage."

Mercury glared at Silver's smug face, as he reeled his fist back for another punch. However, he was stopped by the words of Cinder, as she thundered, "That's enough." The crimson woman turned towards emerald and ordered, "Help him."

While Emerald was walking over to Mercury, lifting him to his feet, and walking him back to Cinder, the Crimson woman glared at the well dressed victor in silence. After the two made it back, she asserted, "I don't know who you people think you are, but I have some advice for your team. One, keep your petty pranks away from us and two, avoid picking fights with any of us. Bad things happen to those who pick fights with us."

With that final word, the three began leaving, but quickly stopped after Silver delivered a troubling line of dialogue, "Of course... after all, I wouldn't want to kill an agent of Salem."

The moment the word Salem was uttered, all three of them stopped immediately, Cinder looked back at the well dressed student and glared at him once more, "What makes you think he is associated with Salem."

Silver chuckled and casually walked towards them, "Well that's the thing Cinder... FALL. I'm a bit of a perv if I'm being honest, and I like to poke around in peoples personal scrolls for certain... images. Mostly women's scrolls, almost excursively Faunus women, but every once in a blue moon, I found a hot human woman and I instantly think, I want to see what she looks like naked. And well, while I didn't find any nudes on your scroll, what I did find was... FAR more interesting."

"...How about you skip to the part, where you tells us, what you want."

"Want something?" Silver commented while holding his hands up, "What makes you think I want something?"

"Clearly if you were concerned about our plans, you would have taken your evidence directly to Ozpin. Let me tell you something, if you're planning on blackmailing us, I'll let you know right now, it won't end well for you."

Silver chuckled, "No, no, no I don't want to blackmail you." He then stuck his hand forward, "I want to join you."

* * *

 **Okay so, I know it seems like I'm deviating from a parody episodic nature and turning it into more of an arc structured story, but 1) I still want to play around with parodying fan fictions in general, play around with more ships, and reoccurring themes, I just have an idea on a certain end point in this series, as well as another concept to come... so let's call this a sub arc in the background, and 2) I like writing about my OC team, I kind of want to play around with the bully team a bit more before I end it, end it. Granted the first chapter was suppose to be a one shot, then I got inspiration for another chapter, then another, then another, and then this as well as a few other ideas to come. I can kind of see how this whole story will end, but hey maybe I'll get inspiration again after that, so we'll see what happens.  
**


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